


Respite

by StrikerEurekaTech (purplexeyed)



Series: Cuddle Puddle 'Verse [1]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Gen, I Don't Even Know, I had too much fun fucking with canon, M/M, cursing, if the prior tags didn't clue you in on that, like fuck if I know where this came from, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-21
Updated: 2013-09-21
Packaged: 2017-12-27 05:08:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/974694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplexeyed/pseuds/StrikerEurekaTech
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which the Beckets have been transferred to Sydney along with Mako.<br/>Chapter One: Chuck is not happy about this.<br/>Until he maybe sorta kinda is.<br/>Because he hasn't really had friends...especially not friends like these three.<br/>(This is not a foursome fic. There is no sex. I cannot write smut so there will never be sex.)</p><p>Chapter Two:<br/>Raleigh's turn. It's close the anniversary of the Knifehead incident, Max hates him and Chuck seems captivated by this new tech.<br/>He is not having a good time.<br/>Luckily, Yancy, Mako and even Herc know what he seems oblivious to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted fluff. And angst. So my plot bunnies all hopped on board.  
> This is the result.
> 
> Also, just so you all are aware:
> 
> -Abuse of semicolons/not beta'd/written from like 1 AM-3 AM.
> 
> -Raleigh is 22. (23 in chapter 2.)  
> Chuck is 17. (18 in chapter 2.)  
> Mako is 17. (18 in chapter 2.) (Because if I'm fucking with canon, I can't do it halfway.)  
> Yancy-pants is 25. (26 in chapter 2.)
> 
> -Inb4freakouts, they are in SYDNEY. As in, they are Down Under. NOT THE US. Age of consent in Sydney is 16. 
> 
> -That said, there will be no sex.
> 
> -According to the actual timeline, Chuck was barely 11 when Scissure attacked. That said, since I'm already fucking with canon, I really don't care. He was 9 in this fic; just shy of 10.

-x-x-x-x-

Raleigh sighed softly as he considered the wan redhead currently using him as a pillow. The seventeen year old pilot looked quite a bit younger than his years; the slight puffiness that remained due to his earlier tears only added to it. He absently smoothed the younger man's hair and wished, not for the first time, that the kaiju never crawled out of their hellhole.

He looked up at the sound of the door opening; both his brother and Mako entered, then closed the door silently behind them.

He gave them the most reassuring smile he could, but Mako just looked sad. Yancy gave her a one-armed hug.

"How is he?" She asked softly, though all three knew she had seen the telltale signs of tears.

"Better, I guess." Raleigh mumbled as he continued to smooth his hair.

"He is better." Mako murmured softly. "Last year he hid in his room and would not come out, not unless there was kaiju. This year...he came to you. It is better." She accepted Yancy's hug without reservation; she both knew and trusted the American pilot.

After the Knifehead incident, the Beckets had been transferred to Sydney. Mako had gone with them, as per her sensei's orders. While she had interacted with them prior to then, it was only after arriving there that she really got to know them. It was just shy of two years since then and she could only think of how glad she was that these two had tumbled into her and Chuck's lives.

It was well-known that Chuck Hansen was abrasive, aggressive and generally avoided. Most tacked it up to him being overwhelmed by the sudden catapult into stardom and just ignored him. Mako had known him, had known better. She knew it was easier for him to just snarl and push people away than it was to risk letting anyone in again. She also knew that he hated his birthday; hated the entire month of August, actually.

Ever since she had met him—years ago, when he was just shy of ten, when his father had volunteered to be a pilot himself—he had been especially difficult during August. She knew why; knew why Herc Hansen dragged himself around looking like a ragged ghost during that month in particular; knew why Chuck went from mostly tolerable—in her eyes—to this raging, snarling, venom-spewing whirlwind of hatred. 

The year after that, on K-Day, he had hid. The entire day, no one knew where he was, what he'd done or where he'd disappeared to. Herc had been almost beside himself; the only reason he had remained any semblance of calm was because of her sensei. Eventually Chuck had returned and, despite the pressure put on him, he said nothing of where he'd disappeared to.

It became a normal thing, though everyone knew it drove Herc to distraction. Every year, when K-Day rolled around, Chuck disappeared. Until he'd entered the academy; then he'd just locked himself in his room. He had the foresight to somehow recode his door so that even the Marshal's override codes would not work.

He'd done the same thing last year as always—but he hadn't counted on the fact that he'd befriended the Beckets. Nor that they, too, were friends with Mako. The moment his door had opened, he'd been overwhelmed by the three. 

At first he'd been surly and abrasive—his attempt to push them away. When it didn't work, the hostility turned to bafflement. As the weeks wore on and all three still remained around, remained close, remained friendly and welcoming and open...bafflement faded to tolerance, then acceptance. Then something Mako knew he'd be terrified to admit was caring.

That was why this year had been different.

Instead of the usual, he had appeared at Raleigh's door at midnight on the dot. The American in question had a touch of insomnia—a leftover from the mess that was the Knifehead incident—so he had been awake when Chuck had knocked on his door.

While he'd been surprised to find a clearly uncomfortable Chuck at his door, he hadn't hesitated to let him in or let him make himself comfortable on his bed. Raleigh had been laying on it, reading, prior to the knock; afterward, he simply had a companion curled up against him.

He'd glanced at Chuck every so often; his features were set, he was pale...but his eyes were over bright. And his lips trembled every so often. It was no surprise, then, that around 1 AM the dam finally broke and he had a quietly sobbing Chuck Hansen trying to bury his face in his shoulder.

Raleigh had held him and smoothed his hair; he had a feeling that words would not help right now; would be less than welcome. So he did his best to offer comfort in a tactile manner; considering how touch-starved the younger Hansen had been...

After Chuck had cried himself out, then passed out, Raleigh finally was able to sleep himself.

Both had been woken by Yancy's knock; while the Beckets usually shared a room, sometimes Yancy spent the night the jaeger hangar, usually after he'd been helping with repairs or talking shop with the techs. 

Chuck, who'd been muzzy, suddenly tightened his grip on Raleigh and wouldn't meet his gaze.

"Yance, kin ya shoo?" He grumbled, pitching his voice so it was lower, slurred and sleepy.

The exasperated sigh came through the door but the answer was apparently affirmative, as they heard Yancy's footsteps growing fainter as they headed towards where Mako roomed.

Raleigh glanced back down at Chuck; Chuck wouldn't meet his eyes and looked like he was on the verge of getting sick, between his too-bright eyes and his—even for him—unnatural paleness. After several moments, the Aussie leaned against him. He complied with the nonverbal request and resumed the hugging/hair smoothing. 

The rest of the day had gone much like that: Chuck staring blankly at the wall, sometimes crying, sometimes not; Raleigh holding him and offering what comfort he could. 

At one point, Raleigh got up, ignoring how Chuck stiffened, and came back with a damp rag. The younger pilot had looked up at him but hadn't moved, hadn't left, so he took it as permission. He gently coaxed Chuck into lying down before he placed the rag over his eyes; he smiled faintly when some of the tension left Chuck's form. He'd rejoined him on the bed, slipping an arm around him; his other, he used to hold a book.

A corner of the rag was raised; Chuck looked from his arm, to him, back to his arm again. Raleigh shrugged with his free shoulder; what did he care if his arm went to sleep? It was pretty shot after the Knifehead debacle; not feeling anything from it would be an improvement. A blink of acknowledgment, then the rag was resettled over his eyes.

From there, he'd fallen asleep. By the time Yancy returned, this time with Mako in tow, Raleigh figured letting them in wouldn't hurt. He knew, based on the clock on the wall, that it was now August 11th.

"I just..." Mako began softly as she considered Chuck.

"Wish something could be done for him?" Yancy suggested.

She nodded.

"Well..." Raleigh offered. "Why don't we just spend tomorrow here, the four of us? Barring any..."

The other two exchanged glances before they nodded. 

"We'll get supplies." Yancy stated. "You up for it, Cadet?"

Mako smiled; it was weak, but it was there; then followed Yancy as they went to procure food.

-x-x-x-x-

"Rahleigh?"

Raleigh smothered a smile.

In the beginning, Chuck had purposely mispronounced his name as often as he could work it into conversation. After they'd made nice, then eventually made friends, he'd started to make the effort to pronounce it properly. He knew, now, that any mispronunciation was due to tiredness, oversight or anger. Seeing as he'd done nothing to earn his ire, he knew this one was due to tiredness. And while he'd never admit it—ever, _shut the fuck up Yancy and get out of my head or I'll tell the Marshal about your fondness for a certain cadet_ —he liked it, when Chuck mispronounced his name. Even if it was in anger, as it still was every so often.

"Ray-leigh."

Ah, yep. There was the anger.

"Yeah?" He responded.

"It's the 11th."

Raleigh raised an eyebrow. "I'm aware."

"...why am I still here?"

The American wasn't sure how to respond to that comment, as he was too busy fighting off the sickening lurch that accompanied his stomach plummeting. 

"In your room." Chuck added, when it became apparent Raleigh wasn't going to respond.

Oh. He relaxed; not what he'd meant. "Was I supposed to kick you out at midnight?"

The redhead shrugged, not meeting his eyes.

"We're friends, Chuck. That means this is...it's what friends do. Look after one another."

"...wasn't much of a help when you...on...y'know." Came the quiet mumble.

"Panic attacks are panic attacks. They just kinda...are." Raleigh responded but accepted the hug that seemed to be an apology nonetheless.

"Hey." Mako murmured as she and Yancy re-entered with their—most likely pillaged—supplies.

Chuck jumped but nodded slightly in greeting. He froze completely when Mako and Yancy hugged him after depositing their burdens on the desk. Raleigh joined the hug, at which point he relaxed slightly.

"What's...?"

"We figured we'd hang out. Just the four of us. Today. Sound alright?" Yancy smothered a yawn.

He nodded but had to fight a yawn of his own.

"Shall we sleep first?" Mako asked as she and Raleigh yawned in unison.

"Good plan." Yancy mumbled before glancing at Raleigh.

The brothers, with some assistance from Mako and Chuck, dismantled the bunk bed—temporarily—and then pushed them together. Amidst another storm of yawns, the four claimed spots on the now-larger sleeping space. Once everyone was comfortable and covered by some of one of the blankets, all four drifted off. 

-x-x-x-x-

Chuck woke to find himself in the middle of what Raleigh would have called a "cuddle puddle". Said American was on one side; he was facing in, protective even in his sleep; it was his arm Chuck had used as a pillow. The warm-but-smaller form against his back had to have been Mako, since Yancy was taller. Which meant Yancy was the one against the wall; he too slept facing in, almost mirroring Raleigh's pose.

It was surprising, how safe and warm he felt. There'd been the occasional time where the four had watched a movie and all had dozed off before it ended, but...this was different. They'd done it intentionally. Not to mention he'd spent the day before clinging to Raleigh like the pathetic weakling he was. Really was. That was why he hid away every year; no matter what he fucking did, he couldn't stop the tears, couldn't stop the pain. It wasn't as bad as it had been that first year but...it still hurt. And the idea of even looking at his dad during that day—

"Y'okay?" 

He looked up to see Raleigh, half asleep, half concerned.

"Yeah." He muttered. 

The other pilot didn't call him on it, just rested his forehead against Chuck's.

"That can't be good for your neck."

That earned him a soft snort.

Which prompted the annoyed pillow-whap from either Mako or Yancy, neither of whom was a morning person or liked the idea of waking up, no matter how well-rested.

-x-x-x-x-

Raleigh yawned softly and flopped over on his side as he waited for the bathroom to be free.

Yancy, irritated with the early wake up, had claimed it first. Then Mako, whose expression bespoke the scattering of ashes to the four winds, dismemberment and murder—not in that order—had gotten it second. Chuck had glanced at him; he'd pulled the covers over his head, so Chuck had gone next. Now, though, Raleigh really had to piss.

Thankfully, Chuck left the bathroom at that moment; he raced in and closed the door to the sound of Mako and Yancy snickering.

The snickers had subsided by the time he was done his morning routine; Yancy offered him some food, which he nibbled on, still not fully awake.

"So what's the plan?" He asked after he finished his breakfast.

"Aside from relax?" Yancy returned.

"Yance, we're pilots or pilots-in-training. We--"

"Yes, yes, sitting around for an entire day would make you go stir crazy." The eldest chose wisely not to mention that that was exactly what Raleigh had done yesterday with no ill effects. Mako giggled; Chuck eyed the ground.

"Movies?" He suggested after playfully nudging Chuck.

"Sounds okay."

The other three exchanged glances but knew that this was the best they'd get out of him for now. It took a week or so for "normal" Chuck to return after K-Day. The younger three settled on the bed as Yancy set up the movie.

Chuck was surprised to find himself in the middle, yet again. When he looked at Mako and Raleigh, neither had an answer beyond a slight encouraging grin, so he settled himself in to watch Spirited Away.

-x-x-x-x-

"Cards?" Raleigh offered. Mako grinned; Yancy gave him a 'you think you can beat me, kid?' look; Chuck nodded.

They started off with Go Fish—Mako won—then Egyptian War—Chuck won—then regular war—no one won, they got sick of it and changed games—then Crazy Eights.

"You're cheating." Chuck growled when he caught sight of Raleigh's hand.

The dumb American had just drawn a card instead of using his eight!

He missed the shock, then grins that spread across Mako and Yancy's faces as he bickered with Raleigh.

He huffed, glaring at the dumb American; the blond simply smiled.

"Should we just play gin rummy instead?"

The redhead scowled but nodded, this time noticing but ignoring the looks on Mako and Yancy's faces.

-x-x-x-x-

Ten games later, Chuck was smirking at a sulking Raleigh; he'd won all but one of the hands.

"You know he's a card shark. Yet you always suggest that game. Then you glare at us when you get your ass kicked. Are we seeing a pattern, Rahls?"

"Shuttup, Yance."

Mako giggled when Chuck's smirk only worsened.

Thankfully for Raleigh's sanity, the game was changed back to Egyptian War. 

-x-x-x-x-

A few hours later, all of them were nursing red, slap-marked hands.

"Sometimes I think we're a bit too competitive for our own good." Yancy mumbled as he shook his hand.

"Wuss." Raleigh retorted, then dodged the pillow flung in his direction.

Chuck flung it back at Yancy, which was how their fairly civil card games dissolved into a pillow fight of epic proportions.

None of the pillows were destroyed in the process, but no one won decisively either.

Raleigh, Mako and Yancy all grinned when they heard Chuck's quiet laugh at some of the stray feathers.

"Princess Mononoke?"

Chuck nodded, the smallest of grins still on his face.

The other three exchanged glances and counted today as a win.

-x-x-x-x-

Chuck, who was again sandwiched between Mako and Raleigh, turned his face away from the screen when Moro showed up. Mako and Yancy, already absorbed in the movie, didn't notice.

"Y'okay?" Raleigh murmured softly.

Chuck nodded but permitted himself to rest his head on Raleigh's shoulder.

The blond slipped an arm around him and kept a steady, though quiet commentary as the movie wore on. Normally, he hated people who talked during movies with a passion. The last time Raleigh had done this, he'd smacked him with a pillow until it broke. This time, though...this time he couldn't be anything but grateful, as it was distracting him, grounding him and comforting him, all at the same time. That's what the whole day had been about, really and...he'd appreciated it.

Like he appreciated that Raleigh had let him cling to him for a day. In spite of the fact that he was a jaeger pilot, in spite of the fact that he was supposed to be strong. In spite of the fact that he was supposed to be in control.

A warm hand gently carded through his hair, distracting him once again. Honestly, sometimes it was almost like the blond could read his mind.

"Not mind reading." Came the soft murmur. "Just body language. And knowing you."

"Creeper." He muttered flatly; it was a word he'd picked up from them.

"Am not." The pout was all kinds of adorable and— _what the hell._

Chuck shook his head and decided that it was just today messing with him. _Raleigh was not...dammit._

-x-x-x-x-

Nighttime found the four curled up in the same bed, in the same spots. This time, though, Raleigh had an arm around him as well as an arm-turned-pillow. Chuck was too tired to even bother with a token protest or a huff, something he knew amused Mako and Yancy to no end. He turned his back on them, not wanting to deal with it right now and got a sleepy smile from the not-evil blond as a reward. Soon the warmth and the safety and the steady sound of the others' breathing lulled him off to sleep.

Not long afterward, the door was opened silently. Herc Hansen's first reaction was to want to bodily drag both Beckets from the bed, drag their asses to the Kwoon and then hand them to them for participating in his son's usual disappearing. The "hand them their asses" became "remove their heads" when he saw that both were in bed with not only his son but Pentecost's daughter. He calmed once he noticed that all had clothing on and it was...what the hell was Raleigh always calling them...a cuddle puddle?

What really changed his mind, though, was the small grin on Chuck's face.

He sighed silently and looked down at the little ball of wrinkles in his hands. It stared right back up at him before its tail began to wag slightly. He shook his head before he gently set the puppy on the foot of the bed. They'd find the little bugger come morning.

As he left, closing the door behind him, he recalled the reason he'd gotten the pup. So he could be someone to be with Chuck at all times, to care for him, to just accept him as he was. He hadn't realized the depth of his son's friendship with the Beckets and Mako...but he had a feeling that the puppy wouldn't hurt.

Back in the room, a determined little ball of wrinkles wobbled its way up the nearest blanket-mountain of warmth before laying on top of it.

-x-x-x-x-

All four woke simultaneously to a quiet whine.

Chuck gaped at the little ball of wrinkles yawning from its position on his hip.

"Wh..." He began; Yancy and Mako were staring.

Raleigh just grinned. "Reckon he's yours."

"What will you name him?" Mako asked.

"If it is a him." Yancy corrected loftily, then mentally winced. He was going to get it in the Kwoon.

Chuck picked the puppy up so he could sit up; he checked. "It's Max." He stated. 

"Short for...?"

"His name is Max."

Mako grinned; Yancy grumbled; Raleigh just held his hand out for the pup to sniff.

Said newly christened pup ignored his hand in favor of cuddling into Chuck's chest, which caused a small laugh.

While Raleigh definitely wanted to sulk at the snubbing of the puppy, the grin on Chuck's face was nothing short of miraculous. So he just traded a grin of his own with Yancy and Mako as they watched Chuck fuss over his new puppy.

-x-x-x-x-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Other notes:  
> -Push two singles together and it's magically about the size of a king. And, yes, you can fit four people on there. A friend of mine had a double to herself one year in college; she did this, we had a sleepover and all four of us fit quite comfortably on there. Although I wish we'd had more blankets because it was cold. Unlike the Beckets/Chuck/Mako, there was no cuddling going on on my end of things.
> 
> -The Great Crazy Eight Debate: my brothers and I play rarely but we're super competitive when we do. I tend to hold onto my eights and use them in as strategic a manner as possible; my brothers argue that that's cheating, even if they beat me. We still haven't reached a consensus on that rule.


	2. Raleigh's turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back again, apparently.  
> This time, it's Raleigh's turn.
> 
> ...sort of.

-x-x-x-x-

Raleigh kept his face blank as he watched Chuck talk—rather animatedly—with a newly transferred tech. What added insult to injury was the fact that Max—who was very obviously anti-Raleigh—had flopped on this tech's feet the moment he met them.

"Trouble in paradise, kid?" Yancy asked as he and Mako slid into the spots next to him.

"For the last time, we're not dating." He retorted flatly.

"But you want to be." Mako pressed.

"What I want is for this subject to be dropped." 

The other two exchanged a glance but let it go as Chuck approached, Max in tow. 

The pup was close to half a year old, now. He'd tripled in weight, going from five to seventeen pounds; when Chuck had begun to worry, Raleigh and Yancy had organized a small excursion to the city to find a vet. The vet had assured them that it was normal, had given Max a checkup—complete with shots—and had even given Chuck a chart on bulldog growth, as well as a book on how to best care for them. After they'd paid—Raleigh had stubbornly insisted, to Chuck's confusion—they had wandered the city for a bit, letting Max take in the sights and smells.

When they got back, they had to deal with a furious Herc, accompanied by a pissed Pentecost on videocall, for not telling anyone where they had disappeared to. Once it was ascertained that everyone was fine and that they had only gone to make sure Max was doing okay, both parents had calmed some. Despite that, Raleigh and Yancy had the distinct feeling that if it happened again, they would have bigger things to worry about than kaiju.

After that, Chuck had focused—aside from training and the occasional kaiju—on training Max. Yancy and Mako had helped, but Max stubbornly refused any and all commands from Raleigh. In fact, the pup was more likely to do the exact opposite of what Raleigh had asked him to; a fact that amused the hell out of Yancy and Mako, confused Chuck and caused the man in question to throw in the towel and leave the training to the other three.

Max, who was still leashed at this point, as he was in the "flight" stage of development, happily flopped on Mako and Yancy's feet once he was close enough to do so. Chuck snickered but willingly handed the leash off to Mako as she and Yancy fussed over his dog.

"Guessing he tried to wander off again?"

"Almost ran right into one of the transports in the hangar, yeah." Chuck replied gloomily. They'd thought he was past the "flight" stage, which meant that he would willingly stick close to Chuck—or whoever was watching him so long as it wasn't Raleigh—but, no, Max had wandered off and scared the shit out of him. He'd managed not to yell when the pup had wandered back over, tail awag so hard his entire body moved with it; he'd settled for scooping the pup up and carrying him out of the hangar to relative safety.

"Well, this stage of development is supposed to end around eight monthsish, so only two more and you should be good." The blond offered.

"Yeah. It'll be a relief." Chuck mumbled as he considered his dog, who was soaking up the cuddles and pets and belly rubs from Mako and Yancy.

Raleigh considered him. He'd known, the moment Chuck's face had lit up, that his dog was going to be important to him. Was going to be cherished and cared for as best as was possible. Which was why the animal's absolute hatred of him—okay, he was exaggerating, Max had never growled at or bitten or even nibbled on him—was so upsetting. He knew Chuck valued the pup highly, so the fact that it had little to no love for Raleigh was troubling. Especially in light of the fact that he'd come to terms with the fact that he had more than a little crush on the younger man.

He'd known for a while he had one hell of a soft spot for him; he wouldn't put up with nearly as much bullshit from anyone else...but it had taken him a while to admit it to himself that he had a...a thing...for Chuck. Yancy, who'd known about the revelation no-fucking-thanks to the Drift, had been on him about it since. Well, after he'd teased him incessantly about it. Mako was better about that, at least; less teasing, but more prompting to **do** something.

He was quite happy to be a coward who was just good friends with Chuck than the idiot who'd asked him out. There was also the matter of Hercules Hansen. And the fact that he liked living. While he and Herc got on well enough when it came to pilot-related matters, the man hadn't been overly friendly to him outside of fighting kaiju. It had only gotten more hostile after Max had been gifted to Chuck; nearly every time he saw the older man, a scowl was leveled at him.

Raleigh guessed he should be glad there hadn't been any sort of shovel talk, let alone Kwoon challenges. Judging from the way the scowl was worsening, though, he figured his luck would run out on one or both of those fronts soon.

"Spacing again, Ray-leigh?"

He blinked, then considered Chuck again.

That was another new thing. Ever since the day-they-didn't-really-discuss, there'd been a new addition to the times when Chuck mangled his name. Before, it was due to tiredness, just not paying attention or because he was pissed. Now, though...he seemed to do it...it was weird. If he was mispronouncing it due to sleepiness or oversight, it normally came out as "Rahleigh"; the tone was normally soft and warm and made him want to cuddle Chuck. When he was angry, it came out more as "Ray-leigh". Only now the newer addition had him saying "Ray-leigh" but...there was no anger. It was almost...teasing. Which. To be fair. He teased Chuck a lot. But this wasn't...didn't feel like...normal teasing.

"Maybe." He replied distantly before returning his attention to his food; he missed the 'the fuck is wrong with him?' look Chuck shot Mako and Yancy.

-x-x-x-x-

After lunch, Raleigh headed for the Kwoon. He was feeling restless, which was normally best dealt with by sparring until his limbs felt like so much dead weight. 

It took a few hours—being a pilot had its downfalls, after all—but once his limbs felt like lead, he bowed out of the next match and headed for his room.

A brief shower, he felt less like he was about to fidget out of his skin. A small sigh escaped him as he exited the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. He was absently drying his hair, which was why he didn't notice that Chuck was sitting on his bed until he cleared his throat. Without a word, he grabbed his clothing and quickly retreated back into the bathroom.

When he exited it this time, he was clothed; despite that, he still felt fairly vulnerable. He was...he didn't like his scars. He had quite a few, especially on his left arm/shoulder, from the divesuit after...

"Hey."

"Yeah?" He asked as he tried to distract himself by picking up some of the things that littered the floor. While their room was fairly clean, it was by no means perfect and he honestly didn't want to trip on some of what had ended up being left on the floor.

"Y'okay?"

"Fine." He replied instantly but refused to look at Chuck. He knew damn well he wasn't fine but...

The door slamming made him wince.

Even though he hadn't seen the younger man's face, he knew that his expression had a combination of anger and pain in it.

-x-x-x-x-

"Rahls."

He stopped his tidying; he knew, thanks to their drifting, that the hand on his shoulder was his brother's.

"C'mon."

He let himself be coaxed onto the lower bunk—his bunk, as he and Yancy had sparred for it, he'd won—but Yancy just sat right next to him.

"Why'd you lie to Chuck?"

He flinched. "I'm supposed to be the one who's there for him, not..."

"Goes both ways, little brother." Yancy responded before pulling him into a hug. 

He leaned against his brother, relaxing slightly.

"You can't expect him to be alright with being vulnerable around you if you can't do the same." 

"I know, Yance." He mumbled into his shoulder.

"Look." There was a pause as Yancy tried to decide how to put it. "I know you want to protect him. Want to be there for him when he's upset or hurting or just needs someone. And that's fine. But...you need to be able to let him return the favor. Not that I think that's what he views it as."

"I know he doesn't." Raleigh said.

"You trust him?"

He nodded.

"Then...just let him in, yeah? He wants to help. The only reason he didn't follow you to the Kwoon was because he was too busy interrogating Mako and me about what could be bothering you."

Raleigh stared at his brother.

"Just...relax, okay?" 

He smothered a wince; Yancy sounded a combination of tired and defeated.

"We're here for you. We all are. Even if Max is always a little shit to you."

He smiled weakly. "Don't let Chuck hear you calling him that."

"Yeah, yeah." His older brother returned before pulling him into another hug.

-x-x-x-x-

Raleigh sat alone at lunch the next day. Yancy—who'd abducted Mako—was working with the techs. Chuck, still fuming from what had happened, sat with Striker's crew; all of them fussed over Max and let him stew.

He fought the urge to roll his eyes. He was fairly sure this had been orchestrated by Yancy and Mako as an attempt to help nudge him and Chuck into making up. While he appreciated the thought, he wanted to let the redhead calm down first. He had no desire to get punched. Or to have Max piss in his shoes again.

When he looked up from his food, he had to stop his eyes from bugging out of his head. Herc Hansen glowered at him from directly across the table. Fuck. Here came the shovel talk...

"Are you two at least usin' protection?" Came the growl.

He stared, fork falling from his now-limp fingers; he blinked for a few moments, trying to process. "Wh-what?" He finally managed out.

"You an' my son."

"Pr-prote—we're not even—we're not—we're friends." He spluttered, ignoring the flush that he felt creeping onto his face. 

Herc gave him the best bitchface he had ever seen. "You expect me t' believe you an' my son aren't datin' and havin' some sorta spat?"

"We're not." Raleigh managed weakly. "We're not dating. We're not having sex, either. We're...just friends." 

When he looked up from his plate, he found Herc looking like he wasn't sure whether to facepalm or shake his head.

"Why aren't ya datin' then?"

"Wait." He said. "Is this why you kept giving me all those looks? You thought I was dating Chuck?"

"I found you in bed with him."

"All clothes were on and _my brother and Mako were there_. It was a cuddle puddle; we were worried about him and wanted to keep him company and—"

"I'm not angry about that. He's had less nightmares since you lot started keepin' him company."

"Really?"

Herc nodded stiffly.

"We're still not dating, though." Raleigh mumbled.

"That's your problem." Herc growled. "An' if you hurt my son, the kaiju'll be the least of yer problems. Understood?"

He nodded. 

"Good." The older man grumbled. "Now go talk to him, y'dumbass."

The blond could only stare after him as he left. He wasn't sure but he thought he'd just gotten Herc's permission to date Chuck.

...nah. No way. He was just...imagining that part. Yeah. There's no way Herc Hansen had just said—well, implied—he'd be alright with Raleigh and Chuck dating. Nope. No way, no how. 

-x-x-x-x-

"Why are you hiding in here?" Mako asked as she poked her head into his room.

"Yancy's not here."

"I was looking for you." She replied before sitting next to him.

"I think Herc just gave me permission to date Chuck."

Mako covered her giggle with a hand as she noted his poleaxed look. "He did?"

"He thought we were dating since K-Day."

She nodded. "That explains the glaring."

"We aren't, though. We're just friends."

"But you want more."

He hesitated before he nodded.

"Then talk to Chuck. I do not think he is against it."

Raleigh stared at her.

Mako sighed. "He came to you, yes? Of the three of us, the ones he spends the most time with...he came to you. Not Yancy. Not me. You."

"I give good hugs?"

She glared. "You do but that is not the point."

"I'm a mess." He mumbled. 

"We all are. You remember him on K-Day, yes?"

Raleigh nodded.

"You do not have to be perfect. If you were, you would not be you. And Chuck, I think, would not like that."

He met her gaze before he nodded slightly.

...he still was going to let Chuck cool down, though.

-x-x-x-x-

"How long are you gonna hide in here, Ray-leigh?"

He winced, then looked up from his book to find a visibly annoyed Chuck in the doorway.

"I was hoping to let you calm down a bit..." He said, replacing the bookmark and putting it down.

"That's why you avoided me all week?"

"...part of it, yeah." Raleigh muttered, actively trying not to think about the other reason.

"Did Max piss in your shoes again?"

A small huff of amusement escaped him before he could stop it. "No, Max had nothing to do with it."

A more-sulky-than-surly Chuck sat on the bed. "Then what is it?"

Raleigh was about to respond when what felt like a vise clamped around his lungs. _Shit. Not now. Please not now._ He tried to draw in a breath but it felt restricted, shaky. 

"Rahleigh, look at me."

He closed his eyes and tried to focus on breathing.

When he felt Chuck's forehead rest against his, though, he forced his eyes open. "I—I'm—"

"Shhh." Chuck murmured; one of his hands gently smoothed Raleigh's hair. "It's alright."

_It's not alright._ He wanted to yell. _Panic attacks scare you. Especially mine!_

"Hey, relax. It's alright, it's fine." The redhead kept a steady stream of quiet but firm assurances as he continued to run his fingers through the blond's hair. "This okay?" He asked, slipping an arm around him but keeping it loose and easy to escape.

Raleigh rested his head against Chuck's shoulder, unable to meet his eyes, but nodded. The hand on his back ghosted up and down gently; that, combined with Chuck's warmth and his words...he was able to focus on that, instead of the tight-can't-breathe feeling.

"Should we go to...?"

"No." He rasped, latching on to Chuck. "No medical."

"Alright." Chuck murmured. "No medical."

-x-x-x-x-

When he woke, it was to a hand gently threading its way through his short hair. He made a soft, content noise; he wasn't sure what had prompted this, let alone who it was, but he felt safe and warm and comfortable and...

"Hey."

The quiet voice was Chuck's. Everything came rushing back as he stiffened.

"S—"

"Don't apologize." Came the soft but firm admonishment. "You have nothing to apologize for." There was a beat of silence before he continued, "the reason I...I didn't know what to do. How to help. That's why..."

_...why you were so freaked out last time..._ Raleigh finished mentally. "Thanks."

"A stubborn jerk once told me this is what friends do—look out for each other."

He looked up, to find a small grin directed down at him. He offered a weak one in return; it was all he could manage right now.

"You okay now?"

"Yeah." He responded before stretching slightly, then resettling himself.

"...this doesn't bother you?"

"Hm?" The blond asked; he'd almost drifted back off to sleep.

"This. Us." Chuck swallowed, looking nervous.

Raleigh yawned. "Why would it?" 

"The age difference? You're American and..."

"And we're not in America. And if you're old enough to pilot a jaeger, old enough to risk your life to help protect everyone...I think you're old enough and mature enough to say yes or no."

To his surprise, that prompted a frown. "Then what's your problem?"

He felt like they were talking in circles. "With what?"

"Us!"

"What about—"

A frustrated Chuck grabbed his collar and pulled him down so their lips could brush.

Raleigh stared down at him; he was a rather fetching red, most likely due to a combination of frustration and embarrassment. 

"Us." He repeated.

"Oh." The blond mumbled. "...wasn't sure you returned the sentiments..." He glanced at Chuck, watched his face go from embarrassed anger to exasperated.

"Stupid drongo." The redhead growled before tightening his hold on Raleigh.

He smiled slightly and leaned down, resting his forehead against Chuck's again. "Guess I've been a bit stupid, yeah."

"More than a bit, mate." His pillow grumbled, but there was more fondness than anger there.

"Becket, you seen—the FUCK do you think yer doing!"

Chuck, the traitor, buried his face in Raleigh's shoulder to muffle his laughter.

Raleigh just groaned. "We're cuddling!"

"I'm sure y--"

Annoyed, the blond flipped the blanket back to show that both were fully clothed; Chuck hissed at the loss of warmth but relaxed when he replaced the blanket.

"Just. Cuddling." He repeated.

"Protection." Herc responded flatly before slamming the door.

"Guessin' he already talked to ya?"

He pulled the blankets over their heads.

Thankfully, Chuck seemed alright with letting it go—so long as he was permitted to steal the occasional kiss during cuddles. Raleigh was more than alright with that; he couldn't think of a better way to spend today than cuddling with his—boyfriend? Significant other? They'd need to discuss that—and exchanging quick kisses.

When Yancy and Mako entered around dinner time, both put the food down, then high fived.

"What?" Raleigh asked.

"Finally!" Mako responded. "Between your moping and his moping..."

"It was getting a little ridiculous. Also, Herc won the bet. So I guess you'll live."

The two glanced at each other. "What bet?"

"On when you two'd finally get together. I guess he figured you two were already dating, what with the amount of time you spent together." Yancy supplied helpfully. "That said, I believe a certain someone has been looking for you." With that, Max was plopped unceremoniously on Raleigh's bunk.

To their utter shock, Max licked Chuck in greeting but clambered onto Raleigh's lap and nudged him for pets.

"Guess he doesn't hate you after all." Yancy commented as he and Mako dished out the food.

Chuck glared but accepted the food. "Max doesn't hate anyone."

"I do not think he is fond of Tendo." Mako corrected.

"That's because Tendo stepped on his tail." 

The other three looked from Raleigh, to Max, to Raleigh again.

"He was lying upside down under one of the desks in LOCCENT; Tendo didn't even know he was there."

The look on Chuck's face still promised retribution, but for now, he was content to sit and eat with his friends. And his boyfriend.

...though he'd really have to work out a better hiding spot, if his dad knew to come check Raleigh's room first...

As the four of them settled in for another movie—Raleigh squished on the inside, this time—Chuck decided maybe not. Maybe he'd just recode their door so his dad couldn't get in.

"Y'okay?" Raleigh asked quietly.

"Better than okay." He retorted; the blond grinned, guessing what prompted that comment. Max yipped, as he had stopped petting him. Raleigh resumed doing so, but he kept his eyes on Chuck.

The redhead could see that he was still tired, still a bit weighed down by his panic attack—and by how close it was to the anniversary of the Knifehead mess—but...overall? He seemed okay. And if he wasn't? Well, Chuck would be here to make sure he was. And he was pretty sure Max and Yancy and Mako would help too.

_Speaking of..._ He glanced at them. They were sitting closer than was strictly just "friendly". Maybe they could use a nudge, too. He looked to Raleigh, who just smirked. Turn about was fair play, after all.

-x-x-x-x-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Other notes:
> 
> -My panic attacks tend to be more feeling like I can't breathe/my heart is beating too fast. Breathing is not fun. But someone there and talking and helping me to focus on something other than that helps. Which is why I portrayed Raleigh's attack this way.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on tumblr, if you wish: [clickies](http://strikereurekatech.tumblr.com/)  
> That's where I post all Pacific Rim, all the time. (Well, it's most of the time. The rest is Rob Kazinsky.)  
> I may or may not post ficlets on there at some point as well...


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